“Do you know Zach Terhune? He is a good friend of mine and a solid believer.”

This text came through from a friend in the final weeks of finishing up the toughest year of teaching for me thus far. I was spent emotionally and physically. But I had grown up with this friend at the same church since 1994, so I knew I could trust him. Going on a blind date was not something I was planning on. I was also walking through unknown waters with my faith: I felt ashamed of my hope in Him, even though I knew where my help and hope came from. “My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:2)

All of these doubts and fears were not what I had planned on either. I should not have allowed fear to play such a huge role in my life, but as I turned 32, I realized that I felt like I was in uncharted waters, and many of my friends could not relate and struggled to find words of encouragement. Trusting even though my heart was hurting was not even close to “easy”. Many had found someone in college, and a big part of me instinctually knew that God may not honor my prayers (but He would hear them). After trying online dating platforms in various seasons (“So many people have used it to find someone!”), going to church alone (“You must be approachable!”), going to parties and events (“You won’t meet someone if all you do is stay home!”), and praying like I’ve never prayed before, the evidence looked like God had forgotten about me.

Famous last words.

So, I trusted again and boldly approached Hog & Hominy on that cool May evening. It was the 31st, a Friday. He had called and texted me days before and we had agreed to meet there at 7:15pm. I got there first and waited. A few minutes later, I saw a man approach the restaurant alone. He was on the phone and it looked like a serious business call. He ended the call when he was near, and we introduced ourselves. He told me that he was Zach and tried to make me feel as comfortable as quickly as possible. We ended up having drinks at the bar (what a whole story that is!) and eventually ended up having friendly conversation over appetizers and pizza. There were smiles, timidity, a Tesla tutorial, a hug, light rain, and a touch of a hand.

I was convinced that going on a second date would be enough of a confirmation that while Zach was interesting and warm, we didn’t have a lot in common. Besides, I’m not great at first dates. I needed a second date. So, I decided resolutely to go on a second date but not a third.

My friends had texted and confirmed that this was the plan. He picked me up after work on June 4th. We ate ice cream and sorbet in Crosstown, and walked around looking at art, speaking about movie soundtracks, and sitting on nearly every kind of chair on floors 1 and 2. I needed to rate the level of comfort of each one, as one does. Unfortunately, not every chair fit my criteria. But he was a good sport and went with it, because I was and continue to be serious about comfortable seating. Right there in the ordinary and the silly, joy came to sit with us. And it never left. He took me to one of my favorite Memphis restaurants, and I realized that I would say yes to go on a third date if he asked me. He asked me out on a third date and that was it.

I’ve never been so glad that “not part of the plan” happened.

The road to friendship, love, and marriage hasn’t been easy, but everything good takes time. And how much of love is really just patience? Zach has been patient and has continued to pursue my heart even when I’ve done my best to buck him off. Loving Zach has felt like a steady growing of safety and softness and wonder in the early morning when you look to the east.

On November 9th, Zach took me to the Memphis Botanic Gardens and asked me to marry him. It was an absolute joy to say “yes.” Getting to know and loving Zach has been a rich blessing. If the Lord wasn’t in this blessing, I knew that I didn’t want it. I believe that God has been in it. I believe He graciously brought us together.

The Lord is compassionate and gracious.

“All that is within me, bless his holy name.”

(Psalm 103:1)

We can’t wait to celebrate with all of you on May 24!

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